Courage to face: Right Mindset

 Hey hello fellow buddies, 

I don't know what to say today. Because not much happened except one thing. I WON IN LUDO. You may be like "WHAT? ARE YOU EVEN SERIOUS? IS IT LUDO WHAT I READ? BIG DEAL?" 

Let me tell you, you read it right. I won in LUDO. And it is a big win for me. I never ever won in LUDO. I used to miserably fail in it. You won't believe, I used to still sit in my home (my ludo home) and wasn't able to come out, and there... there my competitors used to win, one by one. I thought it's my bad luck that I never win in LUDO. Nobody, literally nobody wanted to play with me, or even team up with me when we decided to play it as a partner game. 

I lost my hopes with my luck and gave up. Only to realize that it wasn't solely my luck's fault. It was my fault somewhere as well. MY MINDSET FAULT.

Once, for the first time I lost the match. It somehow fitted in my mind that my luck isn't supporting me and I am bad at this game. And trust me, this mindset was what pulled me down every other time I tried to play. I used to degrade myself before even starting the game, by saying "I won't be able to do. I am bad at it". And after subsequently losing the game, I gave up. I never played it. Then came my mama (mother's brother). He forced me to atleast try once. He teamed up with me, so that I gain confidence. And then. WE WON! Boyaahhhhhh (haha).

For as small as my mama's effort to push me to play. Made me gain my confidence and made me ready to face any failure.

You guys reading it might be like "What the hell are you talking about.It's just a game. Also LUDO is all luck driven game." But no my dear, no game is completely luck driven. It might be upto some extent. But anything and everything can work in your favor once you try harder to achieve it. Once you whole heartedly dedicate your mind, and soul in it. Remember guys, everything in life needs to be strategized. And this is only possible once you are confident about yourself. Same was with ludo. I couldn't play well and strategically move right coin even when I got good numbers. So I failed.

YOUR CONFIDENCE REFLECTS YOUR PERSONALITY.

Trust me I am not saying this with just today's one win. I won continuously for the third time and most important thing, I never lost. Doesn't matter I came first or not. But I tried and so I enjoyed. And this is all that matters. The biggest thing I gained from as small thing as this game is, my confidence and right attitude towards things in life.

I feel day by day, I am becoming a new personality. And I just wanted to document all my experiences in one place.

If you reached till this segment of my boring Ludo win talk, then Thank You So Much.

A miserable failure: Is it a sign?

In today's date, who doesn't want to be a youtuber? May them be an introvert or an extrovert, everyone has a desire to have their own channel. Same goes with me. But this story didn't start today. It was long into the past when I was a teenager. I was 15 years old. Oh! I forgot to mention in my introduction, I am an ICSE student. May be that's not of a big deal for you, but it is for me, my family and my relatives. I studied in a well reputed college. And to add a cherry on the cake, I was an academically good performing student (among the toppers). So, they had many expectations from me. How does this relate to today's topic? It relates because, since people had many expectations upon me, I could not start with what I wanted to. I was made to give all of my attention onto my studies, which in real helped me secure ALHAMDULILLA! good result. But, still I wasn't able to do what I wanted to. Not just in this particular scenario, but there are many other choices in my life which I had to change for others happiness. We will talk about them later.

Now comes today, I am a second time NEET dropper, so I am as usually expected to study a lot more dedicatedly than usual. But I had some other plans. Having tried with a cooking YouTube channel and unable to post regularly with my studies along. I dropped it within few weeks of starting. Though I want to continue doing it after my exam, but still I am zero on that project. 

Recently I have been facing a lot of difficult time on concentrating towards studies. Same problem as I used to face in my previous two years. Which made me stand here, where I wasn't supposed to be, considering my previous performances. So, I came across these YouTube channels called "STUDY WITH ME" And to some extent they brought back my efficiency to a point where I could now concentrate. So, I was flashed with this idea to create my own study with me channel. So that I will be at least 90% consistent with my studies and also my dream to have a YouTube channel will be fulfilled. 

I decided to devote my complete today's day to bring this idea to action. So, I started to learn how to go live, start streaming, do's and don'ts, basically everything one needs to know. Only to fail miserably. 

I was brought back to reality that I cannot stream on mobile without 1000 subscribers. Holy shit! I did not even have a channel (with that ID I wanted to use) few hours ago. And now they want subscribers? Where do I get them from? NO IDEA...

So, now I started searching for videos that showed how to stream without having 1000 subscribers. I downloded few apps that allowed streaming, only to figure out my camera had bad quality. It made zero difference to me. Still I wanted to do what I wanted to do. But then those apps failed miserably too. I tried other ways too. But anything I tried wasn't working. I don't know why?

Then I thought to myself. May be the universe is trying to give me a sign that. Beta abhi idhar udhar dimag mat daal, padle, akhiri 40 days bache hai exam ko. Aur tujhe is baar kar dikhana hai. So, finally I decided today to again whole heartedly dedicate my attention towards studies.

I will make a promise today, infront of you people. I will put all my efforts into my studies. That's secondary whether or not I crack NEET this time. But I won't be left with the regret of not trying, as i was left in my previous two attempts

Introduction

 Hello everyone,

WELCOME to my life series. There isn't going to be any fancy, luxurious, extraordinary thing in this blog. This blog is as common as everyone's life. This blog is MY LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. 

It includes my problems, my solutions, my happiness, my sadness, basically every single thing in my life. I don't have any humans to talk to about my life and what I face in my life except ALLAH and surroundings. So, I decided why not make you all my HUMSAFARS. 

Chalo then, let's start with my introduction,

Hey,

I am Anya,

A second time NEET repeater. (If you guys don't know NEET, it's a medical entrance exam). I am from a small town in India, Karnataka (I suppose address need not to be mentioned). We are a family of 6 members, including my mom, my dad, 2 younger sisters and a younger brother. We are happy, confined, middle class family. 

Talking about my hobbies, they are plenty. Some of them are gardening, painting, sketching, dancing, singing, reading. But the one which stands out all is sleeping. I love sleeping. Sleeping lets me forget my anxiety, depression or any sort of sorrow. I like to sleep them off. Haha! Hey how can I forget talking with God. Whenever I get time, I look towards the sky and blabber all my worries or happiness. I know he who's watching me from above those skies, is listening to me and guiding me. Not just with God, I like to talk with every single thing in my surrounding except humans, (I am not mad though). I talk with stars, moon, spoons, bowls, plants, and even wind. 

With family, hobbies and my current studying described, I think we are left with friends and love life discussion.

There is probably not much to tell you about these. My life is simple and I am single. I have very few friends, who are gems. 

I am an ambivert (a mix of introvert and extrovert). Though I believe I am an introvert, but I try to portray myself as an extrovert. How I do this? We will talk about it some other time. 

Having said everything about me, I would like to take leave. But yeah! If you are interested in joining my family, please feel free to do so by commenting your name, hobbies and anything about you. If you aren't comfortable with that then you can just say Hi to me. Because you know I have been one among those people who felt difficult in connecting with people even online.

NOTE: Anya is a fictitious character, created on life experiences of the author, and many other people to make it relatable to the world. No single person is targeted or is bullied. Anya is a normal human being like you, me and every other person on earth.